So you want to date a Busy Person….

Posted on by RoseIW

As you’ll remember from my ‘Nervy Girl’s Guide to Online Dating’, a few months ago, my mother convinced me to sign up with an online dating website. Apparently, I had been single for too long and it was time to get back on the dating scene and she simply wouldn’t drop the matter, so I reluctantly agreed to create a profile.

I added the obligatory photographs of me a) on a snowy mountain to show off my adventurous streak, b) in fancy dress to show my silly side and c) looking elegant and refined to show that I’m a classy girl. I penned some slightly awkward waffle about myself, filled in my personal details and hit ‘submit’.

Eighty likes in one hour.

Well, that would be enough to boost anyone’s confidence, and I started to feel quite positive; of that eighty, however, only two made it to a first date. Call me picky, but giving up what little free time I have in my diary is a big deal for me and I wasn’t about to waste my time giving it up for people I knew already wouldn’t make it past the first coffee.

But these two seemed promising: one was a teacher and the other worked in the media. Both sturdy jobs with good prospects, both with a good grasp of grammar (trust me, it’s important) and both seemingly charming…at least on paper. So I agreed to meet with each of them for coffee and see how it went.

Prospective Boyfriend No. 1 had hairy ears, but that wasn’t a deal-breaker. He was also fairly serious, but I put that down to nerves. Prospective Boyfriend No. 2 was a bit over-eager, and spent a little too much time talking about semi-naked women in cabaret bars, but that was forgivable – he was the one that made me laugh, after all, we all have our vices!

Never judge a man by a first date, that’s what I’ve learned.

After a few hours spent with each, I fully intended to give them both a second date, but when they both got in touch this week to try to fix something up, my diary simply didn’t have the room to accommodate them. And the news did not go down well.

A curt text from PB1 accusing me of silent treatment when less than 24 hours had passed since the last message when I had, in fact, not actually had access to my phone. Then arrived a series of similarly short messages from PB2 insisting I must have a spare ‘appointment’ somewhere in my diary to fit him in. How strange. Where was the casual ‘stay in touch and let’s see where it goes’ approach? The charming text messages and e-mails? The carefree attitude that came across when we sat chatting over coffee…

That’s the problem with a first date. You meet the dating profile rather than the person: they’re out to impress and so are you. I’m a guilty party, too. To an outsider, my life sounds exciting and I’m happy to make it sound that way: film set anecdotes, silly stories from trips abroad or publicity stunts, a colourful employment history filled with everything from being a party clown to a charity fundraiser.

Having all these stories and experiences in my arsenal makes for a great first date, but the Prospective Boyfriends only heard the ‘Director’s Cut’ of these tales. Left behind on the cutting room floor were the seventeen-hour days filming in the rain, the hours spent driving up and down motorways with a precariously balanced birthday cake on the back seat, and the mountain of administration that accompanies a fundraising event.

Don’t get me wrong, a busy person comes with a lot of great qualities: we’re reliable, we’re punctual, we’re dedicated, we’re passionate and, although it might not be as frequently as you’d like, we’ll give you one hundred percent of ourselves when we do see you.

The downsides?

Dates have to be planned like meetings, well in advance. To get a coffee date, you need to give us two weeks’ notice. If you want to catch us for dinner, we need to know three weeks in advance. A day trip? Give us a month. A weekend away?

…Good luck.

We’re not hopeless causes. Some friends of mine are like ships that pass in the night and they’ve been happily married for two years now – they never run out of things to talk about and they value their time together as so precious that every moment they can grab is filled with love, laughter and passion.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that just because we’re out there, living life to the full, it doesn’t mean we don’t want a relationship. But it does mean that our free time is precious and, unfortunately for any prospective significant others, there aren’t many spare moments to be had. You may find yourself being dragged to rehearsals, press-ganged into volunteering at events or hiking up a mountain, or having to fit an entire week’s worth of catching up into a one-hour lunch break.

But I promise you, we’re worth the patience it takes to be with us. For every ounce of frustration, there’s a laugh to be had later; for every day you can’t see us, a new adventure will be waiting around the next corner for when you do; for every low, there will be a thrilling high.

After all, you don’t board a rollercoaster expecting it to be an easy ride.

 

 

5 ‘Scorch Trials’ Hints At Heartbreak…

Posted on by RoseIW

WARNING: Contains MAJOR spoilers for The Scorch Trials (film) and The Death Cure (book) – if you don’t want to find out what happens on ‘page 250’, turn back now. You have been warned!

It’s rare for me to leave a cinema as hyped up as I walked in, but Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials delivered a middle-of-the-franchise film that ticked all my boxes, and then some.

I’m a huge fan of the book series, and I had heard mixed reviews from other fans about all the changes introduced in the Scorch Trials film. Director Wes Ball had prepared fans in advance, stating that the second film contained elements of the third book, and some straight-up changes, that would all come good in the third and final – at last, a trilogy that will remain a trilogy! – film.

Clutching the obligatory ice-cream sundae, I stepped into the cinema torn between excitement and trepidation…

I loved every buggin’ second.

The two hours and eleven minutes out in the Scorch flew by, and every shucking member of the cast pulled me hook, line and sinker along with them on their respective journeys as they fought for their lives in the post-apocalyptic wasteland that had once been America.

Scorch Trials - NewtIt’s no secret to anyone who knows me that I am a huge Newt fan. And when I first saw The Maze Runner, the casting of Newt was the one thing that was set to make or break my opinion of the adaptation. If I could have cast the character, I would have chosen Thomas Brodie-Sangster to take the role, and would have settled for no-one else.

How fortunate for me that the casting team felt the same way!

Naturally, then, it was Newt I focused on in The Maze Runner and Newt I watched even more intently in The Scorch Trials. Because, as any trilogy fan will know, Thomas Brodie-Sangster (and Dylan O’Brien) will have the most challenging, gut-wrenching and shocking scene in the entire series to contend with in The Death Cure. A scene that will be all the more powerful for their off-screen friendship. A scene that sent book fans everywhere into meltdown. A scene that, according to his Twitter, disappointed James Dashner’s own daughter.

The dreaded ‘Page 250’

And from the look of The Scorch Trials, Wes Ball doesn’t plan to disappoint. Throughout the film, the hints at what’s coming are numerous – some obvious, some less so – and it leaves me feeling wholly confident in the third film.

Surprisingly, though, some of my friends hadn’t noticed some of the more subtle foreshadowing, so here, for them, are my five hints at heartbreak…

–

Number 1: The most obvious – Crank Newt.
During his drink-induced hallucinations, Thomas sees the late Winston, infected with the Flare, before turning to find himself faced with a Flare-ridden Newt. The scream that leaves our hero is quite something. And the sight of Newt infected so badly was not one I was expecting in The Scorch Trials.

Although I must admit, seeing fans freaking out because they thought his death had been brought forward…that was quite something!

–

Number 2: Giving Winston the Gun.
When Winston begs to be left behind and allowed to kill himself, Newt is the one to hand him the gun. He doesn’t even question it. This is doubly poignant for book fans, who know how Newt got his limp: Newt himself once tried to commit suicide, in the Maze, and was dragged to safety by Alby. To see him acting as an agent in someone else’s suicide made me shiver.

But it also gave a nod to Newt’s own eventual fate. Winston only relied on Newt to hand him the gun. Newt will rely on Thomas to fire it.

–

Number 3: “Apparently not all of us…”
Teresa’s line may seem innocent enough, a plot device to explain that not all of them are Immune. But why was that line given to her, and not to someone else? Surely they must all have come to the same conclusion with the infection of Winston?

And even if they hadn’t, she surely could have said simply: “Apparently not.”

The addition of “All of us” and the later revelation that she has, in fact, had her memory restored, make me think that perhaps she has remembered more than we are ever told. Maybe she knows exactly who’s Immune…and who isn’t.

Either way, when Newt inevitably succumbs to the Flare, the explanation has been given already. The perfect set-up to the perfect death scene.

–

Number 4: “Thanks, Tommy…”
In the books, Newt calls Thomas by the nickname ‘Tommy’ almost from day one. In the films, the lack of that nickname in the first film had fans up in arms – and perhaps that’s why, in the second installment, it has been slipped in as often as possible, most noticeably when Thomas saves Newt from the Cranks and then, later, when they are talking about their lost friends from the Maze.

But something tells me it’s not just been included for the fans. It’s been included as a set-up to the third film.
Three words: “Please, Tommy. Please.”

–

Number 5: “It will buy her some time.”
“Is it a cure?” Thomas asks of Mary, as she injects a blue liquid – an enzyme extracted from the brain of an Immune – into Brenda.
“Not exactly,” replies Mary.

She goes on to explain that it doesn’t cure the virus, just slows the spread of it, buys the victim some time.

Cast your mind back to the beginning of the film…when Minho was on the treadmill, Thomas was having a blood test and Newt was being injected with a ‘cocktail’ of vitamins and minerals, everything he’d been deprived of in the Maze.

Now think back to the colour of that liquid. In a tray filled with tubes of rust-coloured liquid, there was one tube that stood out. The one from which the doctor took the liquid for Newt’s injection.

It was blue.

–

I think I’ll leave it there…

A Nervy Girl’s Guide to Online Dating…

Posted on by RoseIW

In January, I broke up with my boyfriend. We’d only been together two months but, sadly, that didn’t seem to matter to him when he proceeded to behave like a first-class moron. To give you an idea, he turned up at my house late at night and refused to leave until I came outside to speak to him…

Classy.

For the second time in a year, I found myself on the receiving end of a great deal of unpleasantness following my decision to end a relationship. For the second time in a year, an ex-boyfriend shifted his attentions to someone else in a very short space of time indeed, while I was left dateless and wondering what on earth I had done to deserve my new state of social exclusion.

What gives, dudes?

Anyway, I digress. Eventually, I signed up for online dating – by ‘eventually’, I mean five months later, in May. And by ‘signed up’, I mean my mother bought me a subscription after she got tired of seeing me moping about how I was probably going to die alone without even a cat for company.

As someone who was utterly terrified by the prospect of online dating, I read loads of guides on how to do it, but none really hit the nail on the head. So I’ve made the following five observations from the real world of online dating, to help any other nervous first-timers:

  1. Don’t be afraid to write people off for silly things: “Give everyone a chance,” said my mother, “They might surprise you!” – I’m sorry, but for a fan of good spelling the use of ‘your’ instead of ‘you’re’ is simply inexcusable. As is asking the same question three times because you’ve not actually bothered to pay attention to the answer.

2. Be as picky as you like: Don’t get on board with the try-something-new philosophy. If you know what you like in a person, tailor your profile and your ‘desirable qualities in a partner’ section to be as specific as it needs to be in order to find you a promising date. Don’t spend weeks messaging someone you don’t intend to go on a date with – it’s a waste of everyone’s time.

3. Take your time: If you’re a nervous or cynical (or both) online dater, don’t rush into a date just because you feel like you should. Why trek three hours across the country to meet someone that you’re only feeling so-so about meeting. Yes, it’s difficult to tell if there’s chemistry via your computer screen but, even online, there is such a thing as ‘courting’. One guy almost had me going on a date, until I didn’t reply for two days (I was working) and he saw fit to send a needlessly curt message saying the following: “I guess you’ve found your Romeo. Or you just don’t have time for me.” Out in one strike, my friend.

4. Don’t judge a man by his pictures: Look, he’s got a picture of him on a mountain, that means he’s sporty! Look, there’s one of him wearing a silly hat, he’s got a sense of humour! Ooh, look at that six-pack! Don’t be fooled by appearances. It almost goes without saying, but I’ve fallen into the trap once already – a pretty face and some crazy pictures doesn’t mean someone is reliable or charming or funny. Get chatting and keep your mind open.

5. A date doesn’t mean a relationship: It’s taken me three months to get this into my thick skull. You don’t owe any of these people anything beyond the courtesy of a message to let them know you’re not interested following a first date. Nor do you owe a date to every person you message. The beauty of an online dating profile is that you can block people if they get out of hand, you don’t have to face numerous people in person to tell them you aren’t interested and you can shut down your profile if you find that online dating isn’t for you.

As it turns out, online dating isn’t for me. But that’s another story…