self

Sorry for the radio silence!

This blogging lark is harder than I thought – I have so much I want to blog about, but finding a) the time and b) the guts to write what I’m thinking and press ‘publish’ is proving to be harder than I thought.

For someone who is fairly extroverted, this came as quite a shock.

After all, I’ve never had problems making myself heard! I speak up in meetings, I’ll prance and dance about on a stage from dawn ’til dusk and at parties you’ll find me hogging the karaoke microphone or participating in a dance-off in the centre of the floor.

I was a writer for a living for two years before I fell into my current job; I’ve written enough programme bios to make me sick of the sight of my own name; I run more theatrical social media accounts than I have fingers to type.

Why, then, do I find blogging so bloody difficult?

There’s a certain amount of pressure, I suppose, when you’re writing a blog, to be witty or funny or to write a post that will go viral. To blog every day lest you lose readers, to dedicate all your time to social media lest you lose followers, to change the world, to make a difference, to make millions.

There’s the worry of being shot down, that the words you’ve spent hours choosing and ordering simply won’t be good enough for the legions of strangers reading them.

There’s the need to be liked, the need to have your voice heard, the need to put your opinion somewhere in the hope of finding like-minded souls to whom your ideas will really mean something.

For me, though, none of that matters. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it would be nice to make millions or change the world, but for now I have a much smaller, much humbler goal in mind:

Being myself.

Sounds a little silly, doesn’t it?

And perhaps it is. But I’ve spent so much time trying to work out what the ‘point’ of this blog should be that I lost sight of why I started doing it in the first place: to have a platform for myself, be it for reviews, embarrassing stage stories, questions, opinions or otherwise.

Perhaps a clearer focus will come with time, but for now I’m just happy ambling through the world of blogging while I find my feet.

Who knows? Maybe, slowly, I’ll even get to grips with the fact that I don’t always have to be the all-singing, all-dancing personality I’m best-known for to get people to listen. Or read.

So here I am, ready to blog, with a new enthusiasm and the realisation that not every post has to be a life-affirming masterpiece or a tale of comic genius.

I hope you’ll stick with me – I have a feeling it’s going to be quite a ride!